Bible Discussion: 'it's Not Locked'

'it's Not Locked'
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Timothy Sutter
2003-07-08 08:29:54 EST
the strange predicament
of mankind, in likeness;

you have a can of sardines,
and should you trade it for
what's behind door number 2?

so, in one respect, you jump
at it and make the trade; and

you get ...The Iron Maiden

closed up in there and the
daggers inch ever closer.

and you had a perfectly
good can of sardines.

and also, at the same time;

you think to lay back on your
can of sardines so, you hold
on to that, and you miss out
on...The Color Television.

but the funny thing is,
both of these outcomes
are happening at the
same time.

locked up in the Iron Maiden
watching someone else's
Color Television.

watching the swampgas
reclamation debates
on C-Spam.

and also watching an opened can
of sardines rot on dry saltines.

and someone has the nerve to
tell you that there is hope.

and all he says to you is;

'it's not locked'

of course, it may not
be like this at all.

and nobody ever asked you
whether or not you even
like sardines, anyway.

and from the way they smell when
they rot you wonder why anyone
would want to reclaim swampgas
in the first place.

and some of the people on C-Spam
just wanna pave it all over in
concrete cuz they recently
cornered the market in cement.

and they vote to offer you up
what's behind door number 3.

and you wonder why they're
voting on your life. only
it's just a dumb game show.

but it's just a can of disinfectant.

but you manage to push open the
Iron Maiden to go and see your prize.

and all you can think at first is
how nice it would be to use the
disinfectant to clean out
the Iron Maiden.

and right before you step back in
to the Iron Maiden, someone taps
you on the shoulder and points you
at the Color Television where now
they're playing "This is Your Life"

and you see how silly you look all
cooped up in The Iron Maiden with
a great big grin on your face
watching the sardines decay

you turn away in horror
but they make you watch.

and at that moment someone tosses
a ball at a target and the whole
show gets dunked in the water.

and you're in a straight jacket
with a lead weight strapped
to your feet.

and hoodeeni says 'open your mouth'

and two keys fall out,

one says "please" and the
other says "thank you"

and immediately, you find

yourself at Window 13

filling out form 479/11


and the pen actually works.

and then it starts to get a little strange.

and then...

Timothy Sutter
2003-07-08 08:55:51 EST
Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> OH MY FUCKING KRISTE ON A STICK!


you need to broaden your horizons


period

Timothy Sutter
2003-07-08 17:01:52 EST
Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> Timothy Sutter wrote...

> > Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> > > OH MY FUCKING KRISTE ON A STICK!

> > you need to broaden your horizons

> > period


> I just did and you're not on it.


fair enough.

i won't miss you.

Rev. 11D Meow!
2003-07-08 17:08:44 EST
See you at the pearly gates.

I peeked.

I'm in the book.


"Timothy Sutter" <a202010@lycos.com> wrote in message
news:3F0B3140.2C43@lycos.com...
> Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:
>
> > Timothy Sutter wrote...
>
> > > Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:
>
> > > > OH MY FUCKING KRISTE ON A STICK!
>
> > > you need to broaden your horizons
>
> > > period
>
>
> > I just did and you're not on it.
>
>
> fair enough.
>
> i won't miss you.



Timothy Sutter
2003-07-08 17:20:15 EST
Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> Timothy Sutter wrote...

> > Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> > > Timothy Sutter wrote...

> > > > Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> > > > > OH MY FUCKING KRISTE ON A STICK!

> > > > you need to broaden your horizons

> > > > period

> > > I just did and you're not on it.

> > fair enough.

> > i won't miss you.


> See you at the pearly gates.

> I peeked.

> I'm in the book.


go play checkers with yourself.

Timothy Sutter
2003-07-08 18:06:02 EST
Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:

> Timothy Sutter wrote...

> > go play checkers with yourself.

> Actually I prefer

i wouldn't think a man would
hide behind a childish name tag.

afraid your 'friends' might find
out what an imbecile you are?

Theoneflasehaddock
2003-07-08 18:57:13 EST
"Rev. 11D Meow!" <NanoMargay@Kitty.Kat.Purr> wrote in message news:<f1zOa.41485$JY1.1146@nwrddc01.gnilink.net>...
> OH MY FUCKING KRISTE ON A STICK!

Nope. It's some other asshole on a stick.
Please don't feed his complexes.

TNQSO
2003-07-09 19:58:02 EST

"Rev. 11D Meow!" <NanoMargay@Kitty.Kat.Purr> wrote in message
news:lNGOa.19401$aD6.1561@nwrddc03.gnilink.net...
> Actually I prefer fondling my pecker to the tune of The Star Spangled
> Banner.
>
> . . . . yet waves
>
> SPOOGE!

Dammit. I can never hold myself until the end.
I always lose it at "bombs bursting in air."

--
The Not Quite Sane One
remove the:
"-NoSpamForMeThanksImDriving-"
to reply.


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