Bible Discussion: Abraham And The Tailgating Hivite...

Abraham And The Tailgating Hivite...
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Ace Fumigators
2004-08-25 23:23:06 EST
And at that time Abraham did journey from Hebron, by the road that
leads toward Ekron, when he spied a Hivite tailgating him in his
mirror.

"My friend" Abraham addressed the Hivite, "This road is plenty enough
for the both of us. Wherefore, then, do thou drive so privily hard
and fast upon my rear?"

The Hivite said nothing, but did respond with a gesture directed at
Abraham, a gesture of one tall finger raised skyward, and continued to
tailgate Abraham.

Wherefore Abraham did begin to slow down and to travel slower and
slower, thus obliging the Hivite to do the same. "My friend" Abraham
told the Hivite, "Again I implore thee: do not drive so close. It is
not thou who controllest my speed, but seeing as that thou art to the
rear of me, it is verily I who control yours and oblige thee to slow
down, lest thou collide with my hinder parts. For the sake of safety,
if not for common courtesy, put off some distance betwixt us; thou
will assuredly attain thy destination having consumed no greater time
than formerly."

The Hivite then muttered a loud curse in the language of the
Canaanites, and continued to press close to Abraham's bumper.

Straightaway Abraham screeched to a dead halt in the middle of the
path, and did proceed to approach the Hivite, seizing in his hand a
tire iron the weight of about one talent. Whereupon he exacted
several blows against the Hittite, and did cause great damage. The
Hivite could not call 911, because the year was 2004 BC, and Canaan
still did not have anything resembling a police force at that time.
So the Lord blessed Abraham. The Hivite, because there was no police
force in Canaan at that time, had to turn to his companions in Ekron
for help, and together they raised a party of about 90 Amalekites,
Jebusites and Philistines, who journeyed to Hebron to seek out
Abraham. Abraham for his part, heard of their approach, and raised up
another 90 men from his camp, and they proceeded out of the city to
meet them, and because the Lord blessed Abraham, they proceeded to
vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines, and to break
the kneecaps of the Hivite with a bat; and the Lord blessed Abraham,
for there were no police in Canaan for the Hivite to make complaint
concerning Abraham. And the fear of Abraham spread far and wide
throughout the land of Canaan.

Riain Y. Barton
2004-08-25 23:38:15 EST
More Jew-Hating stupidity!

Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...


"Ace Fumigators" <bigmessages@yahoogroups.com> wrote in message
news:636790b3.0408251923.3cf8d72e@posting.google.com...
| And at that time Abraham did journey from Hebron, by the road that
| leads toward Ekron, when he spied a Hivite tailgating him in his
| mirror.
|
| "My friend" Abraham addressed the Hivite, "This road is plenty enough
| for the both of us. Wherefore, then, do thou drive so privily hard
| and fast upon my rear?"
|
| The Hivite said nothing, but did respond with a gesture directed at
| Abraham, a gesture of one tall finger raised skyward, and continued to
| tailgate Abraham.
|
| Wherefore Abraham did begin to slow down and to travel slower and
| slower, thus obliging the Hivite to do the same. "My friend" Abraham
| told the Hivite, "Again I implore thee: do not drive so close. It is
| not thou who controllest my speed, but seeing as that thou art to the
| rear of me, it is verily I who control yours and oblige thee to slow
| down, lest thou collide with my hinder parts. For the sake of safety,
| if not for common courtesy, put off some distance betwixt us; thou
| will assuredly attain thy destination having consumed no greater time
| than formerly."
|
| The Hivite then muttered a loud curse in the language of the
| Canaanites, and continued to press close to Abraham's bumper.
|
| Straightaway Abraham screeched to a dead halt in the middle of the
| path, and did proceed to approach the Hivite, seizing in his hand a
| tire iron the weight of about one talent. Whereupon he exacted
| several blows against the Hittite, and did cause great damage. The
| Hivite could not call 911, because the year was 2004 BC, and Canaan
| still did not have anything resembling a police force at that time.
| So the Lord blessed Abraham. The Hivite, because there was no police
| force in Canaan at that time, had to turn to his companions in Ekron
| for help, and together they raised a party of about 90 Amalekites,
| Jebusites and Philistines, who journeyed to Hebron to seek out
| Abraham. Abraham for his part, heard of their approach, and raised up
| another 90 men from his camp, and they proceeded out of the city to
| meet them, and because the Lord blessed Abraham, they proceeded to
| vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines, and to break
| the kneecaps of the Hivite with a bat; and the Lord blessed Abraham,
| for there were no police in Canaan for the Hivite to make complaint
| concerning Abraham. And the fear of Abraham spread far and wide
| throughout the land of Canaan.


George
2004-08-26 00:37:29 EST

"Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
> More Jew-Hating stupidity!
>
> Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
>

If Mel Brooks tells a Jewish joke, is he a Jew hater? Find your boyfriend and
have some sex with him, because you ain't getting enough, Bart.



Riain Y. Barton
2004-08-26 01:05:05 EST
He was not telling a joke you fucking idiot!

He was saying that Jews stole the land!!!!!

YOU DAFT BUGGER!


"George" <George@george.net> wrote in message
news:TNdXc.31605$%n4.13299@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
|
| "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
| news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
| > More Jew-Hating stupidity!
| >
| > Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
| >
|
| If Mel Brooks tells a Jewish joke, is he a Jew hater? Find your boyfriend
and
| have some sex with him, because you ain't getting enough, Bart.
|
|


George
2004-08-26 01:11:28 EST

"Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
news:5ceXc.4297$1M3.1315@trndny01...
> He was not telling a joke you fucking idiot!
>
> He was saying that Jews stole the land!!!!!
>
> YOU DAFT BUGGER!
>

He said a lot of things. That was the only thing you got out of it, because
that is what you were looking for.

> "George" <George@george.net> wrote in message
> news:TNdXc.31605$%n4.13299@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
> |
> | "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
> | news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
> | > More Jew-Hating stupidity!
> | >
> | > Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
> | >
> |
> | If Mel Brooks tells a Jewish joke, is he a Jew hater? Find your boyfriend
> and
> | have some sex with him, because you ain't getting enough, Bart.
> |
> |
>



Susan Cohen
2004-08-26 01:42:50 EST

"Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
> More Jew-Hating stupidity!

Really?
I thought it was anti-Hivite.
After all, Abraham is reaosnable until pushed beyond normal human limits,
and then he cleaned the idiot's clock.

>
> Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...

I don't think he meant to be serious....

Susan
>
>
> "Ace Fumigators" <bigmessages@yahoogroups.com> wrote in message
> news:636790b3.0408251923.3cf8d72e@posting.google.com...
> | And at that time Abraham did journey from Hebron, by the road that
> | leads toward Ekron, when he spied a Hivite tailgating him in his
> | mirror.
> |
> | "My friend" Abraham addressed the Hivite, "This road is plenty enough
> | for the both of us. Wherefore, then, do thou drive so privily hard
> | and fast upon my rear?"
> |
> | The Hivite said nothing, but did respond with a gesture directed at
> | Abraham, a gesture of one tall finger raised skyward, and continued to
> | tailgate Abraham.
> |
> | Wherefore Abraham did begin to slow down and to travel slower and
> | slower, thus obliging the Hivite to do the same. "My friend" Abraham
> | told the Hivite, "Again I implore thee: do not drive so close. It is
> | not thou who controllest my speed, but seeing as that thou art to the
> | rear of me, it is verily I who control yours and oblige thee to slow
> | down, lest thou collide with my hinder parts. For the sake of safety,
> | if not for common courtesy, put off some distance betwixt us; thou
> | will assuredly attain thy destination having consumed no greater time
> | than formerly."
> |
> | The Hivite then muttered a loud curse in the language of the
> | Canaanites, and continued to press close to Abraham's bumper.
> |
> | Straightaway Abraham screeched to a dead halt in the middle of the
> | path, and did proceed to approach the Hivite, seizing in his hand a
> | tire iron the weight of about one talent. Whereupon he exacted
> | several blows against the Hittite, and did cause great damage. The
> | Hivite could not call 911, because the year was 2004 BC, and Canaan
> | still did not have anything resembling a police force at that time.
> | So the Lord blessed Abraham. The Hivite, because there was no police
> | force in Canaan at that time, had to turn to his companions in Ekron
> | for help, and together they raised a party of about 90 Amalekites,
> | Jebusites and Philistines, who journeyed to Hebron to seek out
> | Abraham. Abraham for his part, heard of their approach, and raised up
> | another 90 men from his camp, and they proceeded out of the city to
> | meet them, and because the Lord blessed Abraham, they proceeded to
> | vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines, and to break
> | the kneecaps of the Hivite with a bat; and the Lord blessed Abraham,
> | for there were no police in Canaan for the Hivite to make complaint
> | concerning Abraham. And the fear of Abraham spread far and wide
> | throughout the land of Canaan.
>



Riain Y. Barton
2004-08-26 01:50:29 EST
Sure he did, he is making a comparison!

Avraham = Israelis
Hivite = Palestinians

Avraham is violent and has the upper hand and God rewards him
The Hivite is a poor victim with no way of defending himself because there
is no police force and no one for him to turn to.


"Susan Cohen" <flaviaR@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:uLeXc.3194$HY.3065@trnddc03...
|
| "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
| news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
| > More Jew-Hating stupidity!
|
| Really?
| I thought it was anti-Hivite.
| After all, Abraham is reaosnable until pushed beyond normal human limits,
| and then he cleaned the idiot's clock.
|
| >
| > Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
|
| I don't think he meant to be serious....
|
| Susan
| >
| >
| > "Ace Fumigators" <bigmessages@yahoogroups.com> wrote in message
| > news:636790b3.0408251923.3cf8d72e@posting.google.com...
| > | And at that time Abraham did journey from Hebron, by the road that
| > | leads toward Ekron, when he spied a Hivite tailgating him in his
| > | mirror.
| > |
| > | "My friend" Abraham addressed the Hivite, "This road is plenty enough
| > | for the both of us. Wherefore, then, do thou drive so privily hard
| > | and fast upon my rear?"
| > |
| > | The Hivite said nothing, but did respond with a gesture directed at
| > | Abraham, a gesture of one tall finger raised skyward, and continued to
| > | tailgate Abraham.
| > |
| > | Wherefore Abraham did begin to slow down and to travel slower and
| > | slower, thus obliging the Hivite to do the same. "My friend" Abraham
| > | told the Hivite, "Again I implore thee: do not drive so close. It is
| > | not thou who controllest my speed, but seeing as that thou art to the
| > | rear of me, it is verily I who control yours and oblige thee to slow
| > | down, lest thou collide with my hinder parts. For the sake of safety,
| > | if not for common courtesy, put off some distance betwixt us; thou
| > | will assuredly attain thy destination having consumed no greater time
| > | than formerly."
| > |
| > | The Hivite then muttered a loud curse in the language of the
| > | Canaanites, and continued to press close to Abraham's bumper.
| > |
| > | Straightaway Abraham screeched to a dead halt in the middle of the
| > | path, and did proceed to approach the Hivite, seizing in his hand a
| > | tire iron the weight of about one talent. Whereupon he exacted
| > | several blows against the Hittite, and did cause great damage. The
| > | Hivite could not call 911, because the year was 2004 BC, and Canaan
| > | still did not have anything resembling a police force at that time.
| > | So the Lord blessed Abraham. The Hivite, because there was no police
| > | force in Canaan at that time, had to turn to his companions in Ekron
| > | for help, and together they raised a party of about 90 Amalekites,
| > | Jebusites and Philistines, who journeyed to Hebron to seek out
| > | Abraham. Abraham for his part, heard of their approach, and raised up
| > | another 90 men from his camp, and they proceeded out of the city to
| > | meet them, and because the Lord blessed Abraham, they proceeded to
| > | vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines, and to break
| > | the kneecaps of the Hivite with a bat; and the Lord blessed Abraham,
| > | for there were no police in Canaan for the Hivite to make complaint
| > | concerning Abraham. And the fear of Abraham spread far and wide
| > | throughout the land of Canaan.
| >
|
|


George
2004-08-26 01:57:49 EST

"Susan Cohen" <flaviaR@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:uLeXc.3194$HY.3065@trnddc03...
>
> "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
> news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
>> More Jew-Hating stupidity!
>
> Really?
> I thought it was anti-Hivite.
> After all, Abraham is reaosnable until pushed beyond normal human limits, and
> then he cleaned the idiot's clock.
>
>>
>> Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
>
> I don't think he meant to be serious....
>
> Susan

I don't think he has a funny bone in his body.



George
2004-08-26 02:01:08 EST

"Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
news:FSeXc.56817$3O2.48084@trndny07...
> Sure he did, he is making a comparison!
>
> Avraham = Israelis
> Hivite = Palestinians

You apparently missed the part where he said "and because the Lord blessed
Abraham, they proceeded to vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and
***Philistines***".

> Avraham is violent and has the upper hand and God rewards him
> The Hivite is a poor victim with no way of defending himself because there
> is no police force and no one for him to turn to.
>

Abraham was human. And many aren't able to defend themselves. Like I said, you
read into it what you want to read into it. Learn to smile once in a while
before that frown becomes a permanent part of your ugly mug.

> "Susan Cohen" <flaviaR@verizon.net> wrote in message
> news:uLeXc.3194$HY.3065@trnddc03...
> |
> | "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
> | news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
> | > More Jew-Hating stupidity!
> |
> | Really?
> | I thought it was anti-Hivite.
> | After all, Abraham is reaosnable until pushed beyond normal human limits,
> | and then he cleaned the idiot's clock.
> |
> | >
> | > Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
> |
> | I don't think he meant to be serious....
> |
> | Susan
> | >
> | >
> | > "Ace Fumigators" <bigmessages@yahoogroups.com> wrote in message
> | > news:636790b3.0408251923.3cf8d72e@posting.google.com...
> | > | And at that time Abraham did journey from Hebron, by the road that
> | > | leads toward Ekron, when he spied a Hivite tailgating him in his
> | > | mirror.
> | > |
> | > | "My friend" Abraham addressed the Hivite, "This road is plenty enough
> | > | for the both of us. Wherefore, then, do thou drive so privily hard
> | > | and fast upon my rear?"
> | > |
> | > | The Hivite said nothing, but did respond with a gesture directed at
> | > | Abraham, a gesture of one tall finger raised skyward, and continued to
> | > | tailgate Abraham.
> | > |
> | > | Wherefore Abraham did begin to slow down and to travel slower and
> | > | slower, thus obliging the Hivite to do the same. "My friend" Abraham
> | > | told the Hivite, "Again I implore thee: do not drive so close. It is
> | > | not thou who controllest my speed, but seeing as that thou art to the
> | > | rear of me, it is verily I who control yours and oblige thee to slow
> | > | down, lest thou collide with my hinder parts. For the sake of safety,
> | > | if not for common courtesy, put off some distance betwixt us; thou
> | > | will assuredly attain thy destination having consumed no greater time
> | > | than formerly."
> | > |
> | > | The Hivite then muttered a loud curse in the language of the
> | > | Canaanites, and continued to press close to Abraham's bumper.
> | > |
> | > | Straightaway Abraham screeched to a dead halt in the middle of the
> | > | path, and did proceed to approach the Hivite, seizing in his hand a
> | > | tire iron the weight of about one talent. Whereupon he exacted
> | > | several blows against the Hittite, and did cause great damage. The
> | > | Hivite could not call 911, because the year was 2004 BC, and Canaan
> | > | still did not have anything resembling a police force at that time.
> | > | So the Lord blessed Abraham. The Hivite, because there was no police
> | > | force in Canaan at that time, had to turn to his companions in Ekron
> | > | for help, and together they raised a party of about 90 Amalekites,
> | > | Jebusites and Philistines, who journeyed to Hebron to seek out
> | > | Abraham. Abraham for his part, heard of their approach, and raised up
> | > | another 90 men from his camp, and they proceeded out of the city to
> | > | meet them, and because the Lord blessed Abraham, they proceeded to
> | > | vanquish the 90 Amalekites, Jebusites and Philistines, and to break
> | > | the kneecaps of the Hivite with a bat; and the Lord blessed Abraham,
> | > | for there were no police in Canaan for the Hivite to make complaint
> | > | concerning Abraham. And the fear of Abraham spread far and wide
> | > | throughout the land of Canaan.
> | >
> |
> |
>



Riain Y. Barton
2004-08-26 02:10:46 EST
You obviously are too stupid to know how to read and comprehend TEXT.

THE POSTER IS A KNOWN JEW-HATER WHO HAS NEVER POSTED ANYTHING PRO-ISRAELI OR
PRO-JEWISH!

IT IS CLEARLY AN ANTI-JEWISH ANTI-ZIONIST STORY!


"George" <George@george.net> wrote in message
news:bZeXc.31809$%n4.21328@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
|
| "Susan Cohen" <flaviaR@verizon.net> wrote in message
| news:uLeXc.3194$HY.3065@trnddc03...
| >
| > "Riain Y. Barton" <riain@riain.us> wrote in message
| > news:HWcXc.5676$oA.3172@trndny04...
| >> More Jew-Hating stupidity!
| >
| > Really?
| > I thought it was anti-Hivite.
| > After all, Abraham is reaosnable until pushed beyond normal human
limits, and
| > then he cleaned the idiot's clock.
| >
| >>
| >> Try again, this time please study some real ancient history...
| >
| > I don't think he meant to be serious....
| >
| > Susan
|
| I don't think he has a funny bone in his body.
|
|

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