Bible Discussion: TN Lawmakers To Ban Gay Chimps In State Zoos

TN Lawmakers To Ban Gay Chimps In State Zoos
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Yang, AthD H.c
2004-08-04 05:35:26 EST
NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.

The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.

"We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
against the will of god."

Scientists are aghast at their ignorace. "I am aghast at their
ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"

Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
they are welcome to join the Mormons."


-----

Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec

The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.2 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: -3 million jobs and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -913 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting

Having Bush fuck up my country: Worthless

Fear Gan Dia
2004-08-04 21:05:06 EST
Verily verily I say unto you, it is written by h.c
in <e9a1h0hkbfl8kv1jblegfikt36b07silta@4ax.com>:

> NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
> prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
> all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>
> The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
> amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
> chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
> caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
> inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
> conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
>
> "We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
> spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
> against the will of god."
>
> Scientists are aghast at their ignorace. "I am aghast at their
> ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
> such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
> to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"
>
> Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
> they are welcome to join the Mormons."

LMFAO! You ought to submit it to The Spoof. They publish a lot
of stuff like this, most of it not half as funny.

http://www.thespoof.co.uk/

--
The Very Irrev. Fear gan dia # http://goddamliberal.port5.com
"Every good Christian should line up and kick Jerry Falwell's ass."
- Barry Goldwater

Yang, AthD H.c
2004-08-04 21:19:38 EST
On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 01:05:06 GMT, "Fear gan dia"
<*l@srsldnhsnltn.com> wrote:

>Verily verily I say unto you, it is written by h.c
>in <e9a1h0hkbfl8kv1jblegfikt36b07silta@4ax.com>:
>
>> NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>> prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>> all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>>
>> The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
>> amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
>> chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
>> caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
>> inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
>> conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
>>
>> "We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
>> spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
>> against the will of god."
>>
>> Scientists are aghast at their ignorace. "I am aghast at their
>> ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
>> such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
>> to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"
>>
>> Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
>> they are welcome to join the Mormons."
>
>LMFAO! You ought to submit it to The Spoof. They publish a lot
>of stuff like this, most of it not half as funny.
>
>http://www.thespoof.co.uk/


Sure. All proceeds will go the EAC coffee fund(tm) :-)


-----

Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec

The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.2 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: -3 million jobs and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -913 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting

Having Bush fuck up my country: Worthless

Mark Richardson
2004-08-04 22:35:15 EST
On Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:35:26 -0700, "Yang, AthD (h.c)"
<*e@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:

>NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>
Very, very good.
Well done Yang.


--
Mark Richardson mDOTrichardsonATutasDOTeduDOTau

Member of S.M.A.S.H.
(Sarcastic Middle aged Atheists with a Sense of Humour)

-----------------------------------------------------

Yang, AthD H.c
2004-08-04 22:41:15 EST
On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 02:35:15 GMT, Mark Richardson
<*n@die.spammers.die> wrote:

>On Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:35:26 -0700, "Yang, AthD (h.c)"
><eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:
>
>>NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>>prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>>all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>>
>Very, very good.
>Well done Yang.


<takes a bow> :-)


-----

Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec

The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.2 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: -3 million jobs and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -913 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting

Having Bush fuck up my country: Worthless

Johac
2004-08-05 03:14:39 EST
In article <e9a1h0hkbfl8kv1jblegfikt36b07silta@4ax.com>,
"Yang, AthD (h.c)" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:

> NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
> prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
> all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>
> The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
> amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
> chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
> caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
> inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
> conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
>
> "We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
> spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
> against the will of god."
>
> Scientists are aghast at their ignorace. "I am aghast at their
> ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
> such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
> to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"
>
> Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
> they are welcome to join the Mormons."
>
>
LMAO! Then again, it doesn't seem too far fetched for Tennessee.
--
John Hachmann aa #1782

-The ability to change one's mind, ideas, and opinions when confronted with
new facts is the sign of the rational and intelligent. The inability to do
so is the hallmark of the dimwitted and the fanatic. This applies not only
to science and philosophy, but also to politics.-

Daniel Kolle
2004-08-05 17:32:11 EST
On Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:35:26 -0700, "Yang, AthD (h.c)"
<*e@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> thought hard and said:

>NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>
>The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
>amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
>chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
>caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
>inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
>conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.

Too obvious!
--
-Daniel "Mr. Brevity" Kolle; 16 A.A. #2035
Koji Kondo, Yo-Yo Ma, Gustav Mahler, Krzysztof Penderecki, and Geirr Tveitt are my Gods.
Head of EAC Denial Department and Madly Insane Scientist.

Yang, AthD H.c
2004-08-05 23:52:18 EST
On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 16:32:11 -0500, Daniel Kolle <DKolle@hotmail.com>
wrote:

>On Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:35:26 -0700, "Yang, AthD (h.c)"
><eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> thought hard and said:
>
>>NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>>prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>>all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>>
>>The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
>>amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
>>chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
>>caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
>>inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
>>conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
>
>Too obvious!


I would hope so :-)


-----

Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec

The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.2 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: -3 million jobs and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -923 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting

Having Bush fuck up my country: Worthless

Yang, AthD H.c
2004-08-05 23:54:45 EST
On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 00:14:39 -0700, johac <jhachm@ixpresremove.com>
wrote:

>In article <e9a1h0hkbfl8kv1jblegfikt36b07silta@4ax.com>,
> "Yang, AthD (h.c)" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:
>
>> NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
>> prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
>> all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
>>
>> The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
>> amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
>> chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
>> caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
>> inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
>> conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
>>
>> "We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
>> spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
>> against the will of god."
>>
>> Scientists are aghast at their ignorance. "I am aghast at their
>> ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
>> such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
>> to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"
>>
>> Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
>> they are welcome to join the Mormons."
>>
>>
>LMAO! Then again, it doesn't seem too far fetched for Tennessee.


I like to think that one day this would sound too farfetched for
Tennessee...


-----

Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec

The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.2 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: -3 million jobs and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -923 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting

Having Bush fuck up my country: Worthless

Johac
2004-08-06 01:26:40 EST
In article <p306h05uekpokummbtegruak7gr02onjj5@4ax.com>,
"Yang, AthD (h.c)" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:

> On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 00:14:39 -0700, johac <jhachm@ixpresremove.com>
> wrote:
>
> >In article <e9a1h0hkbfl8kv1jblegfikt36b07silta@4ax.com>,
> > "Yang, AthD (h.c)" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote:
> >
> >> NASHVILLE, TN (EAP) Calling gay chimps "sinful and against nature",
> >> prominent conservative state lawmakers introduce a bill that would ban
> >> all homosexual activities amongst chimps in zoos.
> >>
> >> The Purity of Simian Essense Act would outlaw all gay activities
> >> amongst chimps currently living in all Tennessee zoos. Offending
> >> chimps will be punished according to their gender: female chimps
> >> caught cavorting with other female chimps will be artificially
> >> inseminated against their will, male chimps will be forced by
> >> conservative Christians to hump Ann Coulter.
> >>
> >> "We're doing this for their own good" said Family Research Council
> >> spokeperson David Duke Falwell. "such behavior are unnatural and
> >> against the will of god."
> >>
> >> Scientists are aghast at their ignorance. "I am aghast at their
> >> ignorance," said Stephan Jay Gould II, "We have consistently observed
> >> such behaviors amongst wild chimpanzee behavior. What are they going
> >> to do next, ban polygamy amongst lions?"
> >>
> >> Mr. Falwell was adament: "Of course we would not ban lion polygamy-
> >> they are welcome to join the Mormons."
> >>
> >>
> >LMAO! Then again, it doesn't seem too far fetched for Tennessee.
>
>
> I like to think that one day this would sound too farfetched for
> Tennessee...
>

Are you from that part of the country? I'm sure that Tennessee has its
share of intelligent rational thinkers too, but being part of the
'Bible Belt' it also has a disproportionate number of fundy loons.
--
John Hachmann aa #1782

-The ability to change one's mind, ideas, and opinions when confronted with
new facts is the sign of the rational and intelligent. The inability to do
so is the hallmark of the dimwitted and the fanatic. This applies not only
to science and philosophy, but also to politics.-
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