Research Discussion: In The Year 2059

In The Year 2059
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HVAC
2013-05-12 08:24:35 EST
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No
other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!


Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.George Z.
Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year
in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed
they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.Abortion clinics now
available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for
4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5
illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.



--
"OK you cunts, let's see what you can do now" -Hit Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjO7kBqTFqo

Mitchell Holman
2013-05-12 08:50:26 EST
HVAC <harlowcampbell@gmail.com> wrote in
news:kmo1et$60s$1@dont-email.me:

> HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
> California.
>
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
> Mexifornia's third language.
>
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> livestock.
>
> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
>
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
>
> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
> more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No
> other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>
>
> Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.George
> Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
> mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight
> loss.
>
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
>
> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
> year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
> speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.Abortion
> clinics now available in every High School in United States.
>
> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for
> 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and
> Fridays.
>
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil
> rights.
>
> A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.
>
>
> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only
> 5 illegitimate children.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.



Don't guit your day job...............






HVAC
2013-05-12 08:53:03 EST
On 5/12/2013 8:50 AM, Mitchell Holman wrote:
>
>> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
>> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
>>
>> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>>
>> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
>
>
> Don't guit your day job...............


My day job is spelling Moderator. You have been found guilty of
egregious errors in spelling. Your sentence is death.


--
"OK you cunts, let's see what you can do now" -Hit Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjO7kBqTFqo

Mitchell Holman
2013-05-12 09:33:47 EST
HVAC <harlowcampbell@gmail.com> wrote in news:kmo349$ekq$1@dont-email.me:

> On 5/12/2013 8:50 AM, Mitchell Holman wrote:
>>
>>> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
>>> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
>>>
>>> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight
>>> loss.
>>>
>>> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>>>
>>> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>>
>>
>>
>> Don't guit your day job...............
>
>
> My day job is spelling Moderator.


But not grammar moderator.

"Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss."

Sheesh................









Linuxgal
2013-05-12 10:30:49 EST
HVAC wrote:
> HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

Ozone is created by high-voltage AC arcs, electric cars run on low
voltage DC.

> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
> third language.

English is the global de facto lingua franca, why would it be the THIRD
language?

> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> livestock.

Spotted owl habitats are old growth forests on the Wet Side, the only
crops we grow here are banana slugs and mold.

> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Baby's parents are a brother and sister from North Carolina, but hey,
it's okay, THEIR parents were brother and sister too.

> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

They can get married as long as they don't flaunt their filthy lifestyle
choice in our face.

> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

In your neo-con wet dreams.

> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No
> other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Is that the same France that stepped up to stomp on al-Qaeda in Mali
when the US wouldn't?

> Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.George Z.
> Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Presidents don't ban smoking, Congress passes a ban and the President
signs it. This is a Republic.

> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
> mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Who cares? It's all just coupons for pizza anyway. Everyone else is
winking while wearing Google Goggles and paying their bills that way.

> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Meanwhile conservatives resist moves to close Chick-Fil-A as a public
health hazard.

> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

This endangers cellulite exports. Cellulite has replaced oil as a base
material for many chemicals, and America is the Saudi Arabia of cellulite.

> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year
> in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Canuckistani army moves south, burns White House again to stay warm.

> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed
> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.Abortion clinics now
> available in every High School in United States.

Conservatives go on to complain they can't get a knobby anymore.

> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for
> 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and
> Fridays.

Republican Party now considering removing the call to stone homosexuals
from their platform to increase their footprint in the Senate to nine
members/

> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Conservatives in neighboring states finally begin to weigh a national
ban on the Death Penalty.

> Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil
> rights.

Because it's so cruel and unusual to throw black people in jail for
forty years because they had a few grams of bud in their glove box.

> A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.

Duke recommends two aspirin held between the knees.

> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5
> illegitimate children.

Meanwhile Fundamentalists continue to deny evolution.

> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

Also the Federal Government issues a warming across the South, when
using a Q-Tip, stop when you strike brain.

> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Which shouldn't affect most Red States, whose skill sets have been
replaced by robots maintained by technicians from the coast.

> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Redneck sniper arrested on Pennsylvania Avenue attempting to "vote" the
Vice President into the Oval Office.

--
Halftime at Circvs Maximvs, and the Lions lead the Christians 326-0

David Staup
2013-05-12 11:33:04 EST
On 5/12/2013 9:30 AM, linuxgal wrote:
> HVAC wrote:
>> HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

tsk tsk tsk

please don't poke or prod the liberals
they're in for a REAL rough time




H├Ągar
2013-05-12 11:50:07 EST


"linuxgal" wrote in message
news:1radnSNxa-0oBBLMnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@giganews.com...


*** Yet another Dufus born without a funny bone ...
Probably a Liberal ... facts and puns elude them.


Bast
2013-05-12 12:43:47 EST


Mitchell Holman wrote:
> HVAC <harlowcampbell@gmail.com> wrote in
> news:kmo1et$60s$1@dont-email.me:
>
>> HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
>>
>> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
>> largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
>> California.
>>
>> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
>> Mexifornia's third language.
>>
>>
>> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
>> livestock.
>>
>> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
>>
>>
>> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>>
>>
>> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
>> more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>>
>>
>> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No
>> other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>>
>>
>> Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
>> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.George
>> Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.
>>
>> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
>> mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>>
>> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight
>> loss.
>>
>>
>> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>>
>>
>> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
>> year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
>>
>> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
>> speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.Abortion
>> clinics now available in every High School in United States.
>>
>> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for
>> 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and
>> Fridays.
>>
>>
>> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>>
>> Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil
>> rights.
>>
>> A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.
>>
>>
>> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only
>> 5 illegitimate children.
>>
>> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
>> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
>>
>> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>>
>> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
>
>
> Don't guit your day job...............





Plagerism, IS, hvacs day job.



Benj
2013-05-12 13:10:05 EST
On Sun, 12 May 2013 08:33:47 -0500, Mitchell Holman wrote:

> HVAC <harlowcampbell@gmail.com> wrote in
> news:kmo349$ekq$1@dont-email.me:
>
>> On 5/12/2013 8:50 AM, Mitchell Holman wrote:
>>>
>>>> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
>>>> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
>>>>
>>>> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight
>>>> loss.
>>>>
>>>> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>>>>
>>>> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Don't guit your day job...............
>>
>>
>> My day job is spelling Moderator.
>
>
> But not grammar moderator.
>
> "Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss."
>
> Sheesh................

Sic 'em you "wordsmith"!



Mitchell Holman
2013-05-12 13:48:39 EST
H\ufffdgar <hsahm@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:qMmdnYEG_Nm0JxLMnZ2dnUVZ5ridnZ2d@giganews.com:

>
>
> "linuxgal" wrote in message
> news:1radnSNxa-0oBBLMnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
>
> *** Yet another Dufus born without a funny bone ...
> Probably a Liberal ... facts and puns elude them.
>
>

Funny how there are so few conservative
comedians. As religious fundies and conspiracy
junkies they have no room left for a sense of
humor.



"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because her father is Janet Reno."
John McCain, comedian, 6/98




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