Research Discussion: Terrorist Teacher Arrested

Terrorist Teacher Arrested
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HVAC
2013-01-18 09:52:14 EST

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"
and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There
are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.









--
"OK you cunts, let's see what you can do now" -Hit Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjO7kBqTFqo .. 变亮
http://www.richardgingras.com/tia/images/tia_logo_large.jpg

Free Lunch
2013-01-18 09:57:47 EST
On Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:52:14 -0500, HVAC <hvac@physicist.net> wrote in
alt.atheism:

>
>A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
>International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
>possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
>calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
>said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
>
>He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
>carrying weapons of math instruction.
>
>Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
>solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
>search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"
>and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they
>belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
>in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There
>are 3 sides to every triangle."
>
>When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
>wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
>given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
>could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
>President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

This would be a more believable joke if we were talking about the
radical know-nothings of the GOP responding.

HVAC
2013-01-18 10:15:44 EST
On 1/18/2013 9:57 AM, Free Lunch wrote:
>
>>
>> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
>> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
>> given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
>> could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
>> President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
>
> This would be a more believable joke if we were talking about the
> radical know-nothings of the GOP responding.


Lighten up, Francis.



--
"OK you cunts, let's see what you can do now" -Hit Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjO7kBqTFqo .. 变亮
http://www.richardgingras.com/tia/images/tia_logo_large.jpg

Virgil
2013-01-18 15:08:09 EST
In article <kdbnhm$nd8$1@dont-email.me>, HVAC <hvac@physicist.net>
wrote:

> A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
> International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
> said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
>
> He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
> carrying weapons of math instruction.
>
> Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
> search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"
> and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they
> belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
> in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There
> are 3 sides to every triangle."
>
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
> given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
> could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
> President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
>
--



Bast
2013-01-18 15:22:26 EST


Free Lunch wrote:
> On Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:52:14 -0500, HVAC <hvac@physicist.net> wrote in
> alt.atheism:
>
>>
>> A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
>> International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
>> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
>> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
>> said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra
>> movement.
>>
>> He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
>> carrying weapons of math instruction.
>>
>> Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
>> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
>> search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"
>> and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they
>> belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
>> in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say,
>> "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
>>
>> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
>> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
>> given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
>> could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
>> President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
>
> This would be a more believable joke if we were talking about the
> radical know-nothings of the GOP responding.






Oh, those school terrorists are being dealt with,....and THIS is no joke

http://www.infowars.com/five-year-old-girl-suspended-for-terroristic-threat-to-shoot-classmates-with-pink-bubble-gun/


Just one look at the kid, and it's clear she's an al queda operative, and
probably a member of NRA.
So a full body cavity search, and a few years in Gitmo is within Homeland
Security policies.

God bless our gubbermint, for saving us from the horrors of kids like that.



Rutles - China Blue Suede Schubert
2013-01-18 17:55:57 EST
In article <kdbnhm$nd8$1@dont-email.me>, HVAC <hvac@physicist.net> wrote:

> Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
> search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"

http://mariopiperni.com/fox-noise/fox-news-battles-algebras-distributive-
property.php

I think it can be said with a good deal of certainty that Fox\ufffd\ufffd\ufffds Eric Bolling has
flown too close to stupid so many times that the damage done to whatever is
remaining of his brain is now irreparable. When one start seeing a liberal
agenda lurking in the shadows of algebra, you know that paranoia has taken a
firm hold.

Any hour of any day on Fox is a study in unabashed ignorance and Bolling does
not disappoint with his critique of Scholastic Books take on algebra. For those
of you who have been away from algebra for a while, here\ufffd\ufffd\ufffds a refresher on the
Distributive Property compliments of CoolMath.

--
My name is Indigo Montoya. \\ Annoying Usenet one post at a time.
You flamed my father. \' At least I can stay in character.
Prepare to be spanked. // When you look into the void,
Stop posting that! `/ the void looks into you, and fulfills you.

Brad Guth
2013-01-18 18:28:00 EST
On Jan 18, 12:22 pm, "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote:
> Free Lunch wrote:
> > On Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:52:14 -0500, HVAC <h...@physicist.net> wrote in
> > alt.atheism:
>
> >> A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
> >> International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
> >> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
> >> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
> >> said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra
> >> movement.
>
> >> He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
> >> carrying weapons of math instruction.
>
> >> Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They derive
> >> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
> >> search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y"
> >> and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they
> >> belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
> >> in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say,
> >> "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
>
> >> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had
> >> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
> >> given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they
> >> could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
> >> President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
>
> > This would be a more believable joke if we were talking about the
> > radical know-nothings of the GOP responding.
>
> Oh, those school terrorists are being dealt with,....and THIS is no joke
>
> http://www.infowars.com/five-year-old-girl-suspended-for-terroristic-...
>
> Just one look at the kid, and it's clear she's an al queda operative, and
> probably a member of NRA.
> So a full body cavity search, and a few years in Gitmo is within Homeland
> Security policies.
>
> God bless our gubbermint, for saving us from the horrors of kids like that.

After all, such assault “Pink Bubble” guns also have those high
capacity clips of soapy water, that could just as easily be replaced
with VX or a liquefied form of soapy Sarin. There’s no telling how
conniving these five year old monsters can get, especially with their
NRA training video games and constitutional right to stand their
ground should any other snot-nosed kid get in their way, or should
even impose a threatening stance from any distance needs to be dealt
with decisive action of bubble gunning them down before there’s any
chance of their getting off with a preemptive strike.

In other words, thanks to the NRA, our kids need to ware full-body
armor and should always be prepared for the absolute worse possible
outcomes.
http://www.infowars.com/five-year-old-girl-suspended-for-terroristic-threat-to-shoot-classmates-with-pink-bubble-gun/
After all, they’ll need to prepare themselves for defending the rest
of us adults that have taken advantage of and/or having provoked
others for several decades, and what better way than practicing at
school with those Hello Kitty assault weapons plus the use of any
other WMD. Perhaps Hello Kitty offers pink IEDs and the instruction
manual as for making them highly effective.

Meanwhile in most of the world, very young kids are intentionally
given real weapons and training on how to use them, thereby saving
their nation a great deal on boot-camp indoctrination, which only puts
our wussy K-12s way behind in protecting themselves and the rest of
us. Personally I don’t trust any clown further than necessary,
because you can never tell what sort of perverts or deranged
individuals and their cache weapons are hidden inside, and most of us
already realize that Santa Claus is just an extra fat terrorist that
steals from the poor and gives to the rich by disguising this as a
gift giving ruse that’s actually intended for putting millions of us
into foreclosure and bankruptcy every year.

Xavier Onnasis
2013-01-18 19:49:41 EST
HVAC <hvac@physicist.net> wrote in news:kdbnhm$nd8$1@dont-email.me:

> A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
> International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric
> Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
> Al-Gebra movement.
>
> He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
> carrying weapons of math instruction.
>
> Al-Gebra is a problem for us, the Attorney General said. 'They
> derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
> tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names
> like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have
> determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
> medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher
> Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
>
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God
> had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would
> have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told
> reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound
> statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize
> will follow.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


the original version (AFAIK) is funnier, since Ashcroft and Bush are
much more believable in the bozo roles than Holder and Obama

<QUOTE http://www.ucl.ac.uk/sts/staff/cain/projects/joking>

Renteln, Paul and Alan Dundes. "Foolproof: A Sampling of Mathematical
Folk Humor" Notices of the American Mathematical Society Vol. 52, No.1
(January 2005).

Can be found online at: www.ams.org/notices/200501/fea-dundes.pdf

</QUOTE>







--

XO
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