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Truisms ...
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Hägar
2011-04-17 14:01:35 EST
WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again. (So true!)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important.



REDRUM KILGORE
2011-04-17 14:51:36 EST
On Apr 17, 2:01 pm, "H gar" <hs...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> WARNING:  Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...
>
> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
> computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
> you're wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
> younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
> I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
> person died.
>
> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
> when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
> rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
> want to have to restart my collection...again. (So true!)
>
> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
> I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
> did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
> answer when they call.
>
> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
> Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>
> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>
> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
>
> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
> smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
>
> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
> prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
>
> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
> and you can wear them forever.
>
> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
> know what time it is.
>
> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
> in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
> but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
> in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
>
> 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
> the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
> to realize that their brain is also important.

Pretty much the sum total of your knowledge, eh, Hagar, you knuckle
dragging teatard? <snicker>

The Patriot
2011-04-17 15:46:37 EST

"REDRUM KILGORE" <redrum.kilgore@gmail.com> wrote in
message
news:212d5722-f397-44f7-af01-1c4f22684d3a@x8g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 17, 2:01 pm, "H gar" <hs...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...
>
> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to
> immediately clear your
> computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an
> argument when you realize
> you're wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want
> to nap when I was
> younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted
> sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions
> on # 5. I'm pretty sure
> I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they
> told you how the
> person died.
>
> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least
> kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there
> comes a moment at work
> when you know that you just aren't going to do
> anything productive for the
> rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes
> after Blue Ray? I don't
> want to have to restart my collection...again. (So
> true!)
>
> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of
> Word and it asks me if
> I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical
> report that I swear I
> did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone
> just so I know not to
> answer when they call.
>
> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any
> given Friday or
> Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite
> than Kay.
>
> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing
> option.
>
> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line
> between boredom and hunger.
>
> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?"
> before you just nod and
> smile because you still didn't hear or understand a
> word they said?
>
> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire
> line of cars team up to
> prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
>
> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants?
> Pants never get dirty,
> and you can wear them forever.
>
> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3
> consecutive times and still not
> know what time it is.
>
> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble
> locating their car keys
> in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning
> the Tail on the Donkey -
> but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze
> button from 3 feet away,
> in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
> time.
>
> 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used
> in Hockey in 1874 and
> the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only
> took 100 years for men
> to realize that their brain is also important.

Pretty much the sum total of your knowledge, eh, Hagar,
you knuckle
dragging teatard? <snicker>
******************************************
Gee whiz I'm sorry you didn't comprehend any of the
above. You must be a Liberal.



Hägar
2011-04-17 16:23:17 EST

"The Patriot" <xxxxxx@charter.net> wrote in message
news:vsHqp.6744$MK2.688@newsfe02.iad...
>
> "REDRUM KILGORE" <redrum.kilgore@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:212d5722-f397-44f7-af01-1c4f22684d3a@x8g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 17, 2:01 pm, "H gar" <hs...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...
>>
>> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
>> your
>> computer history if you die.
>>
>> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
>> realize
>> you're wrong.
>>
>> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
>> younger.
>>
>> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>>
>> 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>>
>> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>>
>> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty
>> sure
>> I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>>
>> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
>> person died.
>>
>> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>>
>> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>>
>> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
>> when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for
>> the
>> rest of the day.
>>
>> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
>> don't
>> want to have to restart my collection...again. (So true!)
>>
>> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
>> if
>> I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
>> did not make any changes to.
>>
>> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
>> answer when they call.
>>
>> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>>
>> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
>> Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>>
>> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>>
>> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
>> hunger.
>>
>> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
>> and
>> smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
>>
>> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
>> to
>> prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
>>
>> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
>> and you can wear them forever.
>>
>> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
>> not
>> know what time it is.
>>
>> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
>> keys
>> in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
>> Donkey -
>> but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet
>> away,
>> in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
>>
>> 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
>> the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for
>> men
>> to realize that their brain is also important.
>
> Pretty much the sum total of your knowledge, eh, Hagar, you knuckle
> dragging teatard? <snicker>
> ******************************************
> Gee whiz I'm sorry you didn't comprehend any of the above. You must be a
> Liberal.
>
Yep ... looks like it sailed right over the empty heads of the
Missouri hicks ... no wonder it's called the "Show Me"
State ... didn't expect anything less from a Libtard.



Clave
2011-04-17 17:49:00 EST

"H\ufffdgar" <hsahm@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:27a34$4dab2af8$414ea9a4$5659@EVERESTKC.NET...
> WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...
>
> 1. Haggy has never had an original thought in his life.

Fixed yer post.

HTH,
JIm




Notroll2O12
2011-04-17 18:02:28 EST


"Hägar" wrote in message news:27a34$4dab2af8$414ea9a4$5659@EVERESTKC.NET...

WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again. (So true!)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important.

*********************************************************************************
These are all pretty good. In #17 I would change "Avoid Ghetto" to "Avoid
Trailer Parks" and in the case of Hagar, I somewhat disagree with #21 as not
even sister Chlamydia can scrub the shit stains out of his coveralls.



Hägar
2011-04-18 09:33:05 EST

"Clave" <claviusdespammify@cablespeed.com> wrote in message
news:iofn56$ifs$1@dont-email.me...
>
> "H\ufffdgar" <hsahm@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:27a34$4dab2af8$414ea9a4$5659@EVERESTKC.NET...
>> WARNING: Liberals may not comprehend most of them ...
>>
>> 1. Haggy has never had an original thought in his life.
>
> Fixed yer post.
>
> HTH,
> JIm
>

I would expect nothing more unfunny from an empty Liberal cranium.
Did you, Bast and the Kilgore rednecks all graduate from
the 5th grade, after 18 years of failed education ???
Sure looks like it, you witless gnat.


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