Research Discussion: Mayonnaise

Mayonnaise
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HVAC
2010-05-16 09:03:50 EST
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
of
course, as... Sinko de Mayo.

Brian Wraith
2010-05-16 09:20:30 EST
On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
> manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
> stop in New York.
> This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
> delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
> to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
> forever lost.
> The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
> eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
> anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
> which they still observe to this day.
> The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
> of
> course, as... Sinko de Mayo.

Very, very old joke.

Jake
2010-05-16 10:30:31 EST
On May 16, 8:20 am, Brian Wraith <brianwra...@newzealand.invalid>
wrote:
> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
> > manufactured in England.  In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
> > jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
> > which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
> > stop in New York.
> > This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
> > delivered to Mexico.  But as we know, the great ship did not make it
> > to New York.  The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
> > forever lost.
> > The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
> > eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.  Their
> > anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
> > which they still observe to this day.
> > The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
> > of
> > course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>
> Very, very old joke.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Yeah, but imagine if Hagar got a hold of 12,000 jars of mayonaise.
There would be a pig fucking fest till you die moronathon at the Dixie
trailer park.
Jake.

Brian Wraith
2010-05-16 10:38:57 EST
On 5/16/2010 7:30 AM, jake wrote:
> On May 16, 8:20 am, Brian Wraith<brianwra...@newzealand.invalid>
> wrote:
>> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
>>> manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
>>> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
>>> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
>>> stop in New York.
>>> This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
>>> delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
>>> to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
>>> forever lost.
>>> The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
>>> eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
>>> anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
>>> which they still observe to this day.
>>> The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
>>> of
>>> course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>>
>> Very, very old joke.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
> Yeah, but imagine if Hagar got a hold of 12,000 jars of mayonaise.
> There would be a pig fucking fest till you die moronathon at the Dixie
> trailer park.
> Jake.

I think I will just go back to enjoying the old joke........

Hagar
2010-05-16 10:48:06 EST

"Brian Wraith" <brianwraith@newzealand.invalid> wrote in message
news:hsp021$l3h$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> On 5/16/2010 7:30 AM, jake wrote:
>> On May 16, 8:20 am, Brian Wraith<brianwra...@newzealand.invalid>
>> wrote:
>>> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
>>>> manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
>>>> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
>>>> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
>>>> stop in New York.
>>>> This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
>>>> delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
>>>> to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
>>>> forever lost.
>>>> The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
>>>> eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
>>>> anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
>>>> which they still observe to this day.
>>>> The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
>>>> of
>>>> course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>>>
>>> Very, very old joke.- Hide quoted text -
>>>
>>> - Show quoted text -
>>
>> Yeah, but imagine if Hagar got a hold of 12,000 jars of mayonaise.
>> There would be a pig fucking fest till you die moronathon at the Dixie
>> trailer park.
>> Jake.
>
> I think I will just go back to enjoying the old joke........

You have to forgive Jake ... he's a Beaner and still affected by that
great and tragic loss. He's been eating his leetle seester's diaper
poop ever since, but it has totally rotted his brain, tastes like shit
and is the wrong color, to boot. Poor Jake thus became a Liberal ...



Alien Vegetation
2010-05-16 11:05:55 EST
On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 06:20:30AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
> >Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
> >manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
> >jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
> >which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
> >stop in New York.
> >This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
> >delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
> >to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
> >forever lost.
> >The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
> >eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
> >anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
> >which they still observe to this day.
> >The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
> >of
> >course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>
> Very, very old joke.

How old is a joke that completely distorts the actual facts as
recorded in Wikipedia? Quote:

In 1905, Richard Hellmann from Vetschau, Germany, opened a
delicatessen on Columbus Avenue in New York City, where he used his
wife's recipe to sell the first ready-made mayonnaise. It became so
popular that he began selling it in bulk to other stores. In 1912 he
built a factory for producing Mrs. Hellmann's mayonnaise in jars. It
was mass marketed and called Hellmann's Blue Ribbon Mayonnaise. It was
so successful, Hellmann closed his delicatessen by 1917 in order to
devote full time to his mayonnaise business.

While Hellmann's Mayonnaise thrived on the East Coast, the California
company Best Foods introduced their own mayonnaise. Best Foods
Mayonnaise became popular on the West Coast.

In 1932, Best Foods bought out the Hellmann's brand. By then both
mayonnaises had such commanding market shares in their respective
halves of the country that the company decided that both brands and
recipes be preserved. To this day:

* Best Foods Mayonnaise is only sold west of the Rocky Mountains,
specifically, in or west of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New
Mexico.
* Hellmann's is sold east of the Rockies, specifically, in or east
of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and
Texas.[1]

In 1955, Best Foods acquired Rosefield Packing Co., makers of Skippy
peanut butter. Then Best Foods was bought by Corn Products Refining
Company in 1958 to form Corn Products Company, which in 1969 became
CPC International Inc. In 1995, Best Foods split from CPC
International, becoming its own company once more. The company was
acquired by Unilever in 2000. In the United Kingdom, Hellmann's
mayonnaise arrived in 1961. Unilever says that it had over 50% market
share by the late 1980s. [1]

Endquote.


Now I don't know who to believe. You realize that this sort of thing
is extremely corrosive to mental well-being, and most of you are
already a little over the edge already...



Alien Vegetation

--
May we use your planet?


Brian Wraith
2010-05-16 11:39:27 EST
On 5/16/2010 8:05 AM, Alien Vegetation wrote:
> On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 06:20:30AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
>> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
>>> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
>>> manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
>>> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
>>> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
>>> stop in New York.
>>> This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
>>> delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
>>> to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
>>> forever lost.
>>> The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
>>> eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
>>> anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
>>> which they still observe to this day.
>>> The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
>>> of
>>> course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>>
>> Very, very old joke.
>
> How old is a joke that completely distorts the actual facts as
> recorded in Wikipedia? Quote:
>
> In 1905, Richard Hellmann from Vetschau, Germany, opened a
> delicatessen on Columbus Avenue in New York City, where he used his
> wife's recipe to sell the first ready-made mayonnaise. It became so
> popular that he began selling it in bulk to other stores. In 1912 he
> built a factory for producing Mrs. Hellmann's mayonnaise in jars. It
> was mass marketed and called Hellmann's Blue Ribbon Mayonnaise. It was
> so successful, Hellmann closed his delicatessen by 1917 in order to
> devote full time to his mayonnaise business.
>
> While Hellmann's Mayonnaise thrived on the East Coast, the California
> company Best Foods introduced their own mayonnaise. Best Foods
> Mayonnaise became popular on the West Coast.
>
> In 1932, Best Foods bought out the Hellmann's brand. By then both
> mayonnaises had such commanding market shares in their respective
> halves of the country that the company decided that both brands and
> recipes be preserved. To this day:
>
> * Best Foods Mayonnaise is only sold west of the Rocky Mountains,
> specifically, in or west of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New
> Mexico.
> * Hellmann's is sold east of the Rockies, specifically, in or east
> of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and
> Texas.[1]
>
> In 1955, Best Foods acquired Rosefield Packing Co., makers of Skippy
> peanut butter. Then Best Foods was bought by Corn Products Refining
> Company in 1958 to form Corn Products Company, which in 1969 became
> CPC International Inc. In 1995, Best Foods split from CPC
> International, becoming its own company once more. The company was
> acquired by Unilever in 2000. In the United Kingdom, Hellmann's
> mayonnaise arrived in 1961. Unilever says that it had over 50% market
> share by the late 1980s. [1]
>
> Endquote.
>
>
> Now I don't know who to believe. You realize that this sort of thing
> is extremely corrosive to mental well-being, and most of you are
> already a little over the edge already...

We indeed might be over the edge. Of course the state of our mental
health does not preclude that your Saran Wrap could be stretched a
little too tightly as well, does it?

It was a joke, just a joke, jokes are not intended to be accurate, just
funny. When this was a new joke, it was indeed worthy of a chuckle, at
least when I was 12 about 70 years ago.

Uncle Al
2010-05-16 17:06:18 EST
HVAC wrote:
>
> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
> manufactured in England.

Mined, not manufactured. Welsh mayonnaise mines were the wonder of
Europe. To maintain prices, excess mayonnaise was converted to coal
and burned.

> In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
> stop in New York.
[snip rest]

Nonsense. It had to be 12,167 jars.

--
Uncle Al
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/
(Toxic URL! Unsafe for children and most mammals)
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/qz4.htm

Alien Vegetation
2010-05-16 22:03:45 EST
On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 08:39:27AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
> On 5/16/2010 8:05 AM, Alien Vegetation wrote:
> >On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 06:20:30AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
> >>On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
> >>>Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
> >>>manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
> >>>jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
> >>>which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
> >>>stop in New York.
> >>>This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
> >>>delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
> >>>to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
> >>>forever lost.
> >>>The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
> >>>eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
> >>>anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
> >>>which they still observe to this day.
> >>>The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
> >>>of
> >>>course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
> >>
> >>Very, very old joke.
> >
> >How old is a joke that completely distorts the actual facts as
> >recorded in Wikipedia? Quote:
> >
> > In 1905, Richard Hellmann from Vetschau, Germany, opened a
> > delicatessen on Columbus Avenue in New York City, where he used his
> > wife's recipe to sell the first ready-made mayonnaise. It became so
> > popular that he began selling it in bulk to other stores. In 1912 he
> > built a factory for producing Mrs. Hellmann's mayonnaise in jars. It
> > was mass marketed and called Hellmann's Blue Ribbon Mayonnaise. It
> > was
> > so successful, Hellmann closed his delicatessen by 1917 in order to
> > devote full time to his mayonnaise business.
> >
> > While Hellmann's Mayonnaise thrived on the East Coast, the California
> > company Best Foods introduced their own mayonnaise. Best Foods
> > Mayonnaise became popular on the West Coast.
> >
> > In 1932, Best Foods bought out the Hellmann's brand. By then both
> > mayonnaises had such commanding market shares in their respective
> > halves of the country that the company decided that both brands and
> > recipes be preserved. To this day:
> >
> > * Best Foods Mayonnaise is only sold west of the Rocky Mountains,
> > specifically, in or west of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New
> > Mexico.
> > * Hellmann's is sold east of the Rockies, specifically, in or
> > east
> > of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and
> > Texas.[1]
> >
> > In 1955, Best Foods acquired Rosefield Packing Co., makers of Skippy
> > peanut butter. Then Best Foods was bought by Corn Products Refining
> > Company in 1958 to form Corn Products Company, which in 1969 became
> > CPC International Inc. In 1995, Best Foods split from CPC
> > International, becoming its own company once more. The company was
> > acquired by Unilever in 2000. In the United Kingdom, Hellmann's
> > mayonnaise arrived in 1961. Unilever says that it had over 50% market
> > share by the late 1980s. [1]
> >
> >Endquote.
> >
> >
> >Now I don't know who to believe. You realize that this sort of thing
> >is extremely corrosive to mental well-being, and most of you are
> >already a little over the edge already...
>
> We indeed might be over the edge. Of course the state of our mental
> health does not preclude that your Saran Wrap could be stretched a
> little too tightly as well, does it?

My Saran Wrap is deployed with all due care and attention given to the
manufacturer's specifications. If container geometry should ever
threaten to undergo conformational excursions beyond design
parameters, I have a ready supply on hand for necessary repairs.
Really.

> It was a joke, just a joke, jokes are not intended to be accurate, just
> funny. When this was a new joke, it was indeed worthy of a chuckle, at
> least when I was 12 about 70 years ago.

Usenet may indeed be a mouse built to government specifications, but I
don't really find this all that funny. Especially when it is prone to
drop turds as above with such regularity.




Alien Vegetation

--
May we use your planet?


Brian Wraith
2010-05-16 22:38:33 EST
On 5/16/2010 7:03 PM, Alien Vegetation wrote:
> On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 08:39:27AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
>> On 5/16/2010 8:05 AM, Alien Vegetation wrote:
>>> On Sun, May 16, 2010 at 06:20:30AM -0700, Brian Wraith wrote:
>>>> On 5/16/2010 6:03 AM, HVAC wrote:
>>>>> Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
>>>>> manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000
>>>>> jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
>>>>> which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its
>>>>> stop in New York.
>>>>> This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
>>>>> delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it
>>>>> to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was
>>>>> forever lost.
>>>>> The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were
>>>>> eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their
>>>>> anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
>>>>> which they still observe to this day.
>>>>> The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
>>>>> of
>>>>> course, as... Sinko de Mayo.
>>>>
>>>> Very, very old joke.
>>>
>>> How old is a joke that completely distorts the actual facts as
>>> recorded in Wikipedia? Quote:
>>>
>>> In 1905, Richard Hellmann from Vetschau, Germany, opened a
>>> delicatessen on Columbus Avenue in New York City, where he used his
>>> wife's recipe to sell the first ready-made mayonnaise. It became so
>>> popular that he began selling it in bulk to other stores. In 1912 he
>>> built a factory for producing Mrs. Hellmann's mayonnaise in jars. It
>>> was mass marketed and called Hellmann's Blue Ribbon Mayonnaise. It
>>> was
>>> so successful, Hellmann closed his delicatessen by 1917 in order to
>>> devote full time to his mayonnaise business.
>>>
>>> While Hellmann's Mayonnaise thrived on the East Coast, the California
>>> company Best Foods introduced their own mayonnaise. Best Foods
>>> Mayonnaise became popular on the West Coast.
>>>
>>> In 1932, Best Foods bought out the Hellmann's brand. By then both
>>> mayonnaises had such commanding market shares in their respective
>>> halves of the country that the company decided that both brands and
>>> recipes be preserved. To this day:
>>>
>>> * Best Foods Mayonnaise is only sold west of the Rocky Mountains,
>>> specifically, in or west of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New
>>> Mexico.
>>> * Hellmann's is sold east of the Rockies, specifically, in or
>>> east
>>> of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and
>>> Texas.[1]
>>>
>>> In 1955, Best Foods acquired Rosefield Packing Co., makers of Skippy
>>> peanut butter. Then Best Foods was bought by Corn Products Refining
>>> Company in 1958 to form Corn Products Company, which in 1969 became
>>> CPC International Inc. In 1995, Best Foods split from CPC
>>> International, becoming its own company once more. The company was
>>> acquired by Unilever in 2000. In the United Kingdom, Hellmann's
>>> mayonnaise arrived in 1961. Unilever says that it had over 50% market
>>> share by the late 1980s. [1]
>>>
>>> Endquote.
>>>
>>>
>>> Now I don't know who to believe. You realize that this sort of thing
>>> is extremely corrosive to mental well-being, and most of you are
>>> already a little over the edge already...
>>
>> We indeed might be over the edge. Of course the state of our mental
>> health does not preclude that your Saran Wrap could be stretched a
>> little too tightly as well, does it?
>
> My Saran Wrap is deployed with all due care and attention given to the
> manufacturer's specifications. If container geometry should ever
> threaten to undergo conformational excursions beyond design
> parameters, I have a ready supply on hand for necessary repairs.
> Really.
>
>> It was a joke, just a joke, jokes are not intended to be accurate, just
>> funny. When this was a new joke, it was indeed worthy of a chuckle, at
>> least when I was 12 about 70 years ago.
>
> Usenet may indeed be a mouse built to government specifications, but I
> don't really find this all that funny. Especially when it is prone to
> drop turds as above with such regularity.
>
>
>
>
> Alien Vegetation
>

Personally, I find it pretty humorous after a glass of good Scotch........
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