Research Discussion: The Awol Soldier

The Awol Soldier
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Hagar
2010-04-02 22:31:05 EST
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide under
your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen
a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way".

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq
."

The nun said, "I understand completely".

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have
seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."



Bast
2010-04-02 23:08:01 EST


Hagar wrote:
> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you
> seen a soldier?"
>
> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
> Iraq ."
>
> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."



I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".



Notroll2010
2010-04-03 01:20:45 EST

"Bast" <fakename@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>
>
> Hagar wrote:
>> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
>> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>>
>> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you
>> seen a soldier?"
>>
>> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>>
>> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
>> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
>> Iraq ."
>>
>> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>>
>> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
>> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
>> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>
>
>
> I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
retarded.



Sir Gilligan Horry
2010-04-03 01:50:34 EST
On Fri, 2 Apr 2010 19:31:05 -0700, "Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote:

>A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide under
>your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
>A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen
>a soldier?"
>
>The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
>After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
>said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq
>."
>
>The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
>The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
>legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have
>seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>

Instead they all went to IceLand to make a better economy,
selling trillions of books about AAR (Alt Alien Research)

However, at night, things were top secret.

LOL :)

__________




Jake
2010-04-03 10:33:05 EST
On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
> "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>
> news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>
>
>
>
>
> > Hagar wrote:
> >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
> >> under your skirt.   I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
> >> A moment later two Military Police ran  up and asked, "Sister, have you
> >> seen a soldier?"
>
> >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
> >> After the MPs ran off, the  soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
> >> said, "I  can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
> >> Iraq ."
>
> >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
> >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm  not rude, but you have a great pair of
> >> legs!"  The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
> >> have seen a  great pair of nuts...  I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>
> > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>
> Hagar does, too.  That's how he escaped service then.  That and being
> retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II. And that was a real nun
somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown. Most nuns back then were
probably men avoiding to have to go to war. Hell, they were men when
I went to school. But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
should have gone into military service. He still qualifies for the
free cheese every month, though. Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
Jake.

Hagar
2010-04-03 11:09:15 EST

"jake" <blueschief@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:05b07bc0-43cc-45f1-84ef-6cf7402d02ce@x3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
> "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>
> news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>
>
>
>
>
> > Hagar wrote:
> >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
> >> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
> >> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you
> >> seen a soldier?"
>
> >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
> >> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
> >> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
> >> Iraq ."
>
> >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
> >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
> >> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
> >> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>
> > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>
> Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
> retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II. And that was a real nun
somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown. Most nuns back then were
probably men avoiding to have to go to war. Hell, they were men when
I went to school. But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
should have gone into military service. He still qualifies for the
free cheese every month, though. Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
Jake.

***********************************
Beaner, I have an "Honorable Discharge" certificate ... that means I
have served my country, proudly and without reservation, I might add.
What have you done for your country ????
Nothing ... you left it and swam across the Rio Grande instead, you Loser.



Jake
2010-04-03 11:17:38 EST
On Apr 3, 10:09 am, "Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote:
> "jake" <bluesch...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:05b07bc0-43cc-45f1-84ef-6cf7402d02ce@x3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>
> >news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>
> > > Hagar wrote:
> > >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
> > >> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
> > >> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you
> > >> seen a soldier?"
>
> > >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
> > >> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
> > >> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
> > >> Iraq ."
>
> > >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
> > >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
> > >> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
> > >> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>
> > > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>
> > Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
> > retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II.  And that was a real nun
> somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown.  Most nuns back then were
> probably men avoiding to have to go to war.  Hell, they were men when
> I went to school.  But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
> should have gone into military service.  He still qualifies for the
> free cheese every month, though.  Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
> Jake.
>
>             ***********************************
> Beaner, I have an "Honorable Discharge" certificate ... that means I
> have served my country, proudly and without reservation, I might add.
> What have you done for your country ????
> Nothing ... you left it and swam across the Rio Grande instead, you Loser.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

It's like I told you already, you coward sack of human shit. If you
only knew who I am and where I've been. But no. I ain't gonna. Go
have the pig, I mean your wife, change your diaper.
Jake.


Notroll2010
2010-04-03 11:21:33 EST

"Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote in message
news:lMWdnQko596ExyrWnZ2dnUVZ_jCdnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
> "jake" <blueschief@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:05b07bc0-43cc-45f1-84ef-6cf7402d02ce@x3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
>> "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>>
>> news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > Hagar wrote:
>> >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
>> >> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>>
>> >> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you
>> >> seen a soldier?"
>>
>> >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>>
>> >> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt
>> >> and
>> >> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to
>> >> Iraq ."
>>
>> >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>>
>> >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
>> >> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
>> >> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>>
>> > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>>
>> Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
>> retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
> That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II. And that was a real nun
> somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown. Most nuns back then were
> probably men avoiding to have to go to war. Hell, they were men when
> I went to school. But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
> should have gone into military service. He still qualifies for the
> free cheese every month, though. Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
> Jake.
>
> ***********************************
> Beaner, I have an "Honorable Discharge" certificate ... that means I
> have served my country, proudly and without reservation, I might add.
> What have you done for your country ????
> Nothing ... you left it and swam across the Rio Grande instead, you Loser.
>

What Hags didn't say is that his "Honorable Discharge" certificate is from
Wal-Mart. He got it as part of Wal-Mart's "don't ask, don't tell" program
whereby if you turn out to be really, really stupid you get a "discharge"
instead of being fired. Hagar got his "discharge" after he and Col. Bill
Kilgore were caught on camera chasing each other in Cushman security
vehicles on the night parking lot shift.



Hagar
2010-04-03 11:28:09 EST

"jake" <blueschief@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:2f75f004-acdc-4d37-bbd7-d8927093a160@b33g2000yqc.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 3, 10:09 am, "Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote:
> "jake" <bluesch...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:05b07bc0-43cc-45f1-84ef-6cf7402d02ce@x3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>
> >news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>
> > > Hagar wrote:
> > >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide
> > >> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>
> > >> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have
> > >> you
> > >> seen a soldier?"
>
> > >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>
> > >> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt
> > >> and
> > >> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go
> > >> to
> > >> Iraq ."
>
> > >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>
> > >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
> > >> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would
> > >> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
>
> > > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>
> > Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
> > retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II. And that was a real nun
> somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown. Most nuns back then were
> probably men avoiding to have to go to war. Hell, they were men when
> I went to school. But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
> should have gone into military service. He still qualifies for the
> free cheese every month, though. Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
> Jake.
>
> ***********************************
> Beaner, I have an "Honorable Discharge" certificate ... that means I
> have served my country, proudly and without reservation, I might add.
> What have you done for your country ????
> Nothing ... you left it and swam across the Rio Grande instead, you
> Loser.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

It's like I told you already, you coward sack of human shit. If you
only knew who I am and where I've been. But no. I ain't gonna. Go
have the pig, I mean your wife, change your diaper.
Jake.

**************************************
I see, Beaner ... just like that other delusional doofus ChuckWeasel, you're
also suffering from "Illusions of Grandeur". Ok, I'm reallllly impressed
that
you are somebody ... I had hoped you'd be more than just another Liberal
numbnutz, but that thought was rather shortlived.
PS: I drank beer in more places than you'll ever visit.



Notroll2010
2010-04-03 12:01:53 EST

"Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote in message
news:cPydnc2s9coewyrWnZ2dnUVZ_vGdnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
> "jake" <blueschief@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:2f75f004-acdc-4d37-bbd7-d8927093a160@b33g2000yqc.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 3, 10:09 am, "Hagar" <hagen@sahm,name> wrote:
>> "jake" <bluesch...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>>
>> news:05b07bc0-43cc-45f1-84ef-6cf7402d02ce@x3g2000yqd.googlegroups.com...
>> On Apr 2, 11:20 pm, "Notroll2010" <notroll2...@charter.net> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > "Bast" <faken...@nomail.invalid> wrote in message
>>
>> >news:hp6bh1$uob$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>>
>> > > Hagar wrote:
>> > >> A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I
>> > >> hide
>> > >> under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
>>
>> > >> A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have
>> > >> you
>> > >> seen a soldier?"
>>
>> > >> The nun replied, "He went that way".
>>
>> > >> After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt
>> > >> and
>> > >> said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go
>> > >> to
>> > >> Iraq ."
>>
>> > >> The nun said, "I understand completely".
>>
>> > >> The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair
>> > >> of
>> > >> legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you
>> > >> would
>> > >> have seen a great pair of nuts... I don't want to go to Iraq
>> > >> either."
>>
>> > > I remember when that joke said "Vietnam".
>>
>> > Hagar does, too. That's how he escaped service then. That and being
>> > retarded.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> > - Show quoted text -
>>
>> That was Hags when he got drafted in WW II. And that was a real nun
>> somewhere out of Biloxi, Hags hometown. Most nuns back then were
>> probably men avoiding to have to go to war. Hell, they were men when
>> I went to school. But so was life when Hags (a retarded coward)
>> should have gone into military service. He still qualifies for the
>> free cheese every month, though. Just ask the pig, I mean his wife.
>> Jake.
>>
>> ***********************************
>> Beaner, I have an "Honorable Discharge" certificate ... that means I
>> have served my country, proudly and without reservation, I might add.
>> What have you done for your country ????
>> Nothing ... you left it and swam across the Rio Grande instead, you
>> Loser.- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
> It's like I told you already, you coward sack of human shit. If you
> only knew who I am and where I've been. But no. I ain't gonna. Go
> have the pig, I mean your wife, change your diaper.
> Jake.
>
> **************************************
> I see, Beaner ... just like that other delusional doofus ChuckWeasel,
> you're
> also suffering from "Illusions of Grandeur". Ok, I'm reallllly impressed
> that
> you are somebody ... I had hoped you'd be more than just another Liberal
> numbnutz, but that thought was rather shortlived.
> PS: I drank beer in more places than you'll ever visit.
>
That's about the only life skill you have. Cracker.


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