Research Discussion: Retirement

Retirement
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HVAC
2010-03-17 13:18:45 EST

Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
future:



You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!!



You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone ask s you how far something is, you tell them how long
it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.



You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
Manhattan ....
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. ( Ed note: if you have a car)

You can retire to New Hampshire where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.



You can retire to the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
It's important to know the difference, too.



You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car .
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he
stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"



AND You can retire to Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and
cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.








Jimbo
2010-03-17 13:25:27 EST
On Mar 17, 1:18 pm, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> future:
>
> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> when you open your oven door.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> ME??!!
>
> You can retire to California where...
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 5. When someone ask s you how far something is, you tell them how long
> it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
>
> You can retire to New York City where...
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
> Manhattan ....
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
> Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 3. You think Central Park is "nature."
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language makes you multi-lingual.
> 5. You've worn out a car horn. ( Ed note: if you have a car)
>
> You can retire to New Hampshire where...
> 1. You only have four spices:  salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
> You can retire to the Deep South where...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
> 3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
> Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
> 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
> It's important to know the difference, too.
>
> You can retire to Colorado where...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car .
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he
> stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> You can retire to the Midwest where...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
> different!"
>
> AND You can retire to Florida where..
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and
> cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

I retired in 2002. and stayed in Michigan. Other than having to pay
for snow removal, it's pretty good living. :D

Benj
2010-03-17 13:44:39 EST
On Mar 17, 12:18 pm, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> future:

Come on ACDC, you didn't write this. This is FAR too cool and
knowledgeable of the world for the likes of you to have written it.
Anyway, given your general past performance I presume you found it
somewhere on the internet and and simply copied and posted it without
reference allowing people assume that the insightful repartee was
yours. Which is about what we'd expect of you.

But that doesn't change the fact that I want to have the love-child of
whoever wrote it!





Uncle Al
2010-03-17 14:23:45 EST
HVAC wrote:
[snip]

> AND You can retire to Florida where..
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and
> cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

Where Cubans go to live and Jews go to die. C'mon pythons and gators!

--
Uncle Al
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/
(Toxic URL! Unsafe for children and most mammals)
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/qz4.htm

Igor
2010-03-17 14:37:39 EST
On Mar 17, 1:18 pm, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> future:
>
> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> when you open your oven door.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> ME??!!

7. They'll be seriously fighting over availablity of water soon.

> You can retire to California where...
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 5. When someone ask s you how far something is, you tell them how long
> it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

7. They'll be seriously fighting over availablity of water too.


SkyEyes
2010-03-17 15:13:36 EST
On Mar 17, 10:18 am, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> future:
>
> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> when you open your oven door.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> ME??!!

I live in Tucson, not Phoenix, but I'd like to add one:

7. You put on SPF 70 sunblock just to walk out to the mailbox.

Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
BAAWA Knight
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes nine at cox dot net

Christopher A. Lee
2010-03-17 15:27:09 EST
On Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:13:36 -0700 (PDT), SkyEyes <skyeyes9@cox.net>
wrote:

>On Mar 17, 10:18 am, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
>> future:
>>
>> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
>> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
>> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
>> the toilet bowl.
>> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
>> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
>> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
>> when you open your oven door.
>> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
>> ME??!!
>
>I live in Tucson, not Phoenix, but I'd like to add one:
>
>7. You put on SPF 70 sunblock just to walk out to the mailbox.

Dry heat is healthier than humid heat when you have a lung problem.

Swamp coolers are cheaper to run than air conditioning.

>Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
>BAAWA Knight
>EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
>skyeyes nine at cox dot net

Brady R
2010-03-17 15:29:41 EST
On Mar 17, 12:13 pm, SkyEyes <skyey...@cox.net> wrote:
> On Mar 17, 10:18 am, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> > future:
>
> > You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> > 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> > 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> > the toilet bowl.
> > 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> > 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> > 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> > when you open your oven door.
> > 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> > ME??!!
>
> I live in Tucson, not Phoenix, but I'd like to add one:
>

> 7.  You put on SPF 70 sunblock just to walk out to the mailbox.

It's not the heat, it's the temperature.

brady r


>
> Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
> BAAWA Knight
> EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
> skyeyes nine at cox dot net


SkyEyes
2010-03-17 15:58:19 EST
On Mar 17, 12:27 pm, Christopher A. Lee <ca...@optonline.net> wrote:
> On Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:13:36 -0700 (PDT), SkyEyes <skyey...@cox.net>
> wrote:
>
>
>
> >On Mar 17, 10:18 am, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >> Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> >> future:
>
> >> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> >> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> >> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> >> the toilet bowl.
> >> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> >> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> >> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> >> when you open your oven door.
> >> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> >> ME??!!
>
> >I live in Tucson, not Phoenix, but I'd like to add one:
>
> >7.  You put on SPF 70 sunblock just to walk out to the mailbox.
>
> Dry heat is healthier than humid heat when you have a lung problem.

Indeed it is.

> Swamp coolers are cheaper to run than air conditioning.

And the houseplants like it better. However, there are 6 to 8 weeks
every year in summer - the monsoon season - when swamp coolers are
utterly useless.

The best course is to get a house with dual cooling. That way you can
run the swamp cooler April through the end of June, then switch over
to A/C until the end of September, at which time you can go back to
the cooler again.

Brenda (assiduously saving my pennies to get A/C installed on my
house)

SkyEyes
2010-03-17 16:02:20 EST
On Mar 17, 12:29 pm, brady r <slothyrap...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Mar 17, 12:13 pm, SkyEyes <skyey...@cox.net> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Mar 17, 10:18 am, HVAC <mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > Just a review for those who are thinking about retirement in your
> > > future:
>
> > > You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where......
> > > 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> > > 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> > > the toilet bowl.
> > > 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> > > 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> > > 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> > > when you open your oven door.
> > > 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> > > ME??!!
>
> > I live in Tucson, not Phoenix, but I'd like to add one:
>
> > 7.  You put on SPF 70 sunblock just to walk out to the mailbox.
>
> It's not the heat, it's the temperature.

Actually, I was referring neither to the heat nor the temperature, but
to the intensity of the sunlight. A terribly high solar index is what
we have down here in Baja Arizona.

Brenda
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