Research Discussion: Bob The Chicken

Bob The Chicken
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Hagar
2009-11-19 20:43:01 EST
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber..

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Bob....'

Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'

Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'

'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '

'Never,' said Bob.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard his wife yell.....

"BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"



ChasNemo
2009-11-19 22:30:56 EST
On Nov 19, 8:43�pm, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
> Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
> fell into a deep slumber..
>
> He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
> sleep, Bob....'
>
> Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
> Send me back!'
>
> St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
> that is as a chicken.'
>
> Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
> home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
> pecking the ground.
>
> A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
> here?'
>
> 'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
> Like I'm gonna explode!'
>
> 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
> 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
>
> 'Never,' said Bob.
>
> 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
>
> Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>
> Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
> another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>
> As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
> head, and heard his wife yell.....
>
> "BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"

Hagar bobs lots of chickens.

Hagar
2009-11-20 09:22:21 EST

"ChasNemo" <chasnemo@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:7cee1ff4-c3c1-483b-b453-72054b306e40@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
On Nov 19, 8:43?pm, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
> Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
> fell into a deep slumber..
>
> He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
> sleep, Bob....'
>
> Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
> Send me back!'
>
> St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
> that is as a chicken.'
>
> Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
> home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking,
> and
> pecking the ground.
>
> A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
> day
> here?'
>
> 'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
> Like I'm gonna explode!'
>
> 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
> 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
>
> 'Never,' said Bob.
>
> 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
> deal.'
>
> Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>
> Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
> another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>
> As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
> head, and heard his wife yell.....
>
> "BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"

Hagar bobs lots of chickens.

*******************************
God needs lots of shit, in order to stuff the brain cavities of all
the Liberal Obama worshippers ... Looks as if you yelled
"here" twice, NemoToad, which gained you access to the
"Morons of the Obamacalypse"\ufffd ...



ChasNemo
2009-11-20 09:27:41 EST
On Nov 20, 9:22�am, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
> "ChasNemo" <chasn...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:7cee1ff4-c3c1-483b-b453-72054b306e40@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
> On Nov 19, 8:43?pm, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
> > fell into a deep slumber..
>
> > He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
> > sleep, Bob....'
>
> > Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
> > Send me back!'
>
> > St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
> > that is as a chicken.'
>
> > Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
> > home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking,
> > and
> > pecking the ground.
>
> > A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
> > day
> > here?'
>
> > 'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
> > Like I'm gonna explode!'
>
> > 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
> > 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
>
> > 'Never,' said Bob.
>
> > 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
> > deal.'
>
> > Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>
> > Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
> > another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>
> > As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
> > head, and heard his wife yell.....
>
> > "BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"
>
> Hagar bobs lots of chickens.
>
> � � � � *******************************
> God needs lots of shit, in order to stuff the brain cavities of all
> the Liberal Obama worshippers ... Looks as if you yelled
> "here" twice, NemoToad, which gained you access to the
> "Morons of the Obamacalypse"� ...- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Tacit admission by Fagar that he bobs lots of chickens is duly noted.
<snicker>

Hagar
2009-11-20 09:45:37 EST

"ChasNemo" <chasnemo@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:ae4076b3-9980-4f18-9053-73ad86cdcecf@k19g2000yqc.googlegroups.com...
On Nov 20, 9:22?am, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
> "ChasNemo" <chasn...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:7cee1ff4-c3c1-483b-b453-72054b306e40@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
> On Nov 19, 8:43?pm, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
> > and
> > fell into a deep slumber..
>
> > He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in
> > your
> > sleep, Bob....'
>
> > Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
> > for.
> > Send me back!'
>
> > St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back,
> > and
> > that is as a chicken.'
>
> > Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
> > home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking,
> > and
> > pecking the ground.
>
> > A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
> > day
> > here?'
>
> > 'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
> > Like I'm gonna explode!'
>
> > 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
> > 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
>
> > 'Never,' said Bob.
>
> > 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
> > deal.'
>
> > Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>
> > Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
> > another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>
> > As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
> > head, and heard his wife yell.....
>
> > "BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"
>
> Hagar bobs lots of chickens.
>
> ? ? ? ? *******************************
> God needs lots of shit, in order to stuff the brain cavities of all
> the Liberal Obama worshippers ... Looks as if you yelled
> "here" twice, NemoToad, which gained you access to the
> "Morons of the Obamacalypse"? ...- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Tacit admission by Fagar that he bobs lots of chickens is duly noted.
<snicker>

Your usual witless retort merely proves my point, you brain-dead
Liberal muff-queen. You know, NomoToad, you can lose some of
that lard-ass of yours by exercising ... maybe that's in Obama's health
plan in the "Fat Lesbian" amendment.



HVAC
2009-11-20 10:20:40 EST

"ChasNemo" <chasnemo@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:ae4076b3-9980-4f18-9053-73ad86cdcecf@k19g2000yqc.googlegroups.com...
Tacit admission by Fagar that he bobs lots of chickens is duly noted.
<snicker>


A non-racist person would say "snegro". Not snicker.

Just an FYI



ChasNemo
2009-11-20 21:31:29 EST
On Nov 20, 9:45�am, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
> "ChasNemo" <chasn...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:ae4076b3-9980-4f18-9053-73ad86cdcecf@k19g2000yqc.googlegroups.com...
> On Nov 20, 9:22?am, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > "ChasNemo" <chasn...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> >news:7cee1ff4-c3c1-483b-b453-72054b306e40@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
> > On Nov 19, 8:43?pm, "Hagar" <hs...@surewest.net> wrote:
>
> > > Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
> > > and
> > > fell into a deep slumber..
>
> > > He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in
> > > your
> > > sleep, Bob....'
>
> > > Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
> > > for.
> > > Send me back!'
>
> > > St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back,
> > > and
> > > that is as a chicken.'
>
> > > Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
> > > home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking,
> > > and
> > > pecking the ground.
>
> > > A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
> > > day
> > > here?'
>
> > > 'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
> > > Like I'm gonna explode!'
>
> > > 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
> > > 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
>
> > > 'Never,' said Bob.
>
> > > 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
> > > deal.'
>
> > > Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>
> > > Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
> > > another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>
> > > As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
> > > head, and heard his wife yell.....
>
> > > "BOB, wake up. You shit the bed again!"
>
> > Hagar bobs lots of chickens.
>
> > ? ? ? ? *******************************
> > God needs lots of shit, in order to stuff the brain cavities of all
> > the Liberal Obama worshippers ... Looks as if you yelled
> > "here" twice, NemoToad, which gained you access to the
> > "Morons of the Obamacalypse"? ...- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Tacit admission by Fagar that he bobs lots of chickens is duly noted.
> <snicker>
>
> Your usual witless retort merely proves my point, you brain-dead
> Liberal muff-queen. �You know, NomoToad, you can lose some of
> that lard-ass of yours by exercising ... maybe that's in Obama's health
> plan in the "Fat Lesbian" amendment.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Too bad you're so bitter over President Obama's health plan, since
you'll be a big user of mental health services. Keep bobbing those
chickens though -- might distract you from obsessing over your
miserable lot in life...

Talkin Horse
2009-11-20 22:14:10 EST
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor......



2. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become
disoriented



3. Would "postal service" and "good lawyer" be considered oxymorons?



4. Why is there an expiration date on "sour" cream?



5. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.



6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.



7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?



8. If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?



9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?



10. Is there another word for "synonym"?



11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?



12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?



13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?



14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?



15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?



16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?



17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?



18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?



21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?



22. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.



24. How is it possible to have a civil war?



25. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?



26. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?



27. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?



28. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?



29. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?



30. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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